Backwoods Horror

JACK BROOKS: MONSTER SLAYER

Directed by: Jon Knautz

Trevor Matthews: Jack Brooks
Robert Englund:  Professor Crowley
…and a bunch of other bit players. Go to the imdb site if you’re THAT interested.

This flick was pretty friggin’ sweet!  For those not in the know, the story follows Jack Brooks, a guy who saw his family killed by monsters as a child and now experiences…anger issues.  He’s just your regular everyman plumber who happens to come across an ancient evil and finds a good release for his rage in the form of kicking monster ass.

Ok, so the movie starts in Africa, or Brazil, or some random, nameless backwater jungle with a bunch of villagers surrounding this cyclopse lookin’ baddie.  They’re gettin’ their asses kicked when most of them run back to camp and start yelling into this dung hut.  We get a glimpse of a guy wrapping his hands and then the ‘ol over the shoulder-eye-glimpsed-through-long-hair bit.

Fast forward.  We get a swift overview of Jack’s ‘tween years.  There’s some bit with him going to a psychologist and flippin’ out.  Then we get to see what Jack does.  The guy’s a plumber and takes night classes.  He has these fits of rage he can’t control that all stem back from when he saw his family brutally eviscerated by a monster out in the woods one night when he was a little kid.  He’s repressed it, and now he flips out.

One night after helping his teacher Professor Crowley, fix some pipes in the basement of this old house the Professor’s fixin’ up, the ground in his back yard splits, emitting an eerie light and a crazy, almost sentient fog that finds its way to the Professor, possessing the poor schmuck.  The next day he wakes up to find that he’s been diggin’ around in the dirt all night with his bare hands, so what does he do?  He grabs a shovel and finishes the job, pulling out a crate with a dead guy in it and a black heart.

Crowley snatches the heart out of the box and it starts beating.  THEN, (reminds me of JASON GOES TO HELL), the fucker EATS THE HEART.  I suppose one could argue that he’s compelled to, but you get the idea.  From then on, the good Professor “just ain’t right, eventually turning into this fat-ass demon from hell that has a shit-ton of tentacles that race after the night class students, dragging them back to the room.  If that wasn’t bad enough, he has this weird tongue thing that he/it shoves down its victim’s throats, turning THEM into monsters.  Crazy.  At first, Jack runs away, jumping in the van and haulin’ ass.  But then he hears the song “BEYOND THE SEA,” the same song that was playing when his family became dinner and he slams on the brakes, tells his bitchy-ass girlfriend to get out, and hauls ass back to the school.  Now he’s in Kickass/Ash mode.

The rest you can pretty much guess from the title.  He goes charging into the school and starts kicking hella monster ass, beating the ever lovin’ shit out of them and then smashin’ in their heads (the only way to truly kill ‘em.  I won’t ruin the ending for you, but he DOES get to play tongue hockey with the hot goth-ish chick that he’d been makin’ eyes at the entire flick.

Oh yeah, and I can’t forget, there’s this old guy at the Hardware store that reminds me of old Crazy Ralph from the first two Friday flicks.  “It’s got a DEATH CURSE!!!!”  That was a hoot.

I’m not entirely sure of the back history on this flick, so I can’t tell you how much money was involved, but I doubt it was much as it seemed like an independent production, but let me tell you THIS, I couldn’t see one single bit of CG bullshittery in the entire flick.  Everything seemed to be practical makeup effects.  That just fucking rocks my socks!

There were some dialogue issues where it seemed like the actors had to sort of just force out their lines because they just sounded…odd, but for the most part, the overall story and acting were good.

My BIGGEST BEEF was that the movie seemed too short.  This movie could’ve had a hell of a lot more screen time spent developing secondary characters (hot goth-ish chick) and developing the story a little more.  Instead, the flick seemed a bit rushed, like it was supposed to be a TV pilot or something.  More Jack Brooks wouldn’t be a bad thing, boils ‘n ghouls, and it seems that there are rumors floating about for a JACK BROOKS 2 (Electric Boogaloo…heh).

So, overall? Kickass little indy flick.  I’m glad it got some distribution and it’s refreshing to have something original like this to watch as opposed to the remake hell hollywood seems to be putting us through.  You want good movies?  Watch the indy scene.  Check this one out!

Happened to be sent a link from a friend of mine about a zombified version of “tag” goin’ around the college campuses.  Check it out:

By Matthew Daneman, USA TODAY
ROCHESTER, N.Y. -

Al Palmer has a slim build, an easy smile, and a near-insatiable hunger for human flesh.

Palmer, 27, of Litchfield, Maine, is an industrial-design student at Rochester Institute of Technology. He wears in his headband the IDs of 17 students who had been humans until he tagged them, turning them into zombies.

“I get the biggest kick out of walking up behind someone who’s looking all around except behind them,” he says as his group prepares to head out into the night. “It gets your heart pumping, that exhilaration.”

Welcome to the world of Humans vs. Zombies (HvZ), a tag-like game that is the latest trend in campus entertainment. An HvZ game typically involves hundreds of students and runs 24 hours a day for days on end; dwindling numbers of humans try to fend off and outlast growing legions of zombies.

The rules are fundamentally simple: Zombie tags human, human becomes a zombie. Unlike movie zombies, with shambling walks and undead makeup, zombies in the game just wear headbands to distinguish them from armband-wearing humans. And they are free to sprint.

Humans ward off zombies with Nerf guns or by hitting them with a balled-up sock - a defensive move that stuns the zombie, usually for 15 minutes. The goal is to still be a live human at the end.

A group of students at Goucher College in Towson, Md., is credited with starting the game, which has spread across the USA. Addicted to the first-person shooter video game Splinter Cell, the students wanted to create a live version of it on campus; it turned into tag and then became zombie-fied, says Goucher graduate Brad Sappington, one of the creators.

“It just unfolded like that: ‘We like zombies. Let’s find a way to make real zombies at college.’ It was alcohol-induced, I’m sure.”

The Internet has played a big role in the spread of the game. Goucher students created a website (hvzsource.com) that is a repository of information about and rules for the game. And YouTube videos of the game being played at Goucher have found fans at other schools.

Ball State University in Muncie, Ind., hosted its first student-organized HvZ game last fall after one student stumbled across online video footage of the game and brought the idea there, says Jason White, 23, a senior from Indianapolis who is organizing a tournament there this week.

RIT hosted its first HvZ game last fall after Zack Bessler, 21, a computer science major from Lyman, Maine, said he came across information about the game.

“It just sounded like ridiculous amounts of fun,” Bessler says. “Does it get any better than zombie-themed tag?”

That’s fuckin’ sweet.  Check THIS LINK for more on the game….  Sounds like a cool-ass Halloween party game to me…. Once again…sweeeeeet…

Just came across this bit ‘o news over at the good folks at Dread Central:

It’s about goddamn time someone tried to get werewolves back on primetime TV. Sure there have been some shows since “Werewolf: The Series” that have made minimal effort, but it sounds like Trick ‘r Treat director Michael Dougherty’s Fox show “Bitches” will be the one we’ve been waiting for.

“It’s about four women living in New York City who are werewolves,” Dougherty told the Fangoria Radio crew the other night, “It’s Sex & The City with werewolves! They seduce people, then they eat them! The series will answer the questions: how do they feed, where do they work… It’s very funny.”

“Bitches” will be kicking into production early next year. Just how much of a mix of humor and horror there will be remains to be seen, but it’s got werewolves so I’m there. Let’s hope it makes it past the pilot, at least!

Man, I’m just going to be straight up with you guys…Trick ‘r Treat looks kickass, but this show is gonna suck donkey dick.  First, we’ve got werewolves in the city…no man, that just doesn’t  work, werewolves are forest monsters.  Second, “Sex And The City meets Werewolves?” Are you shitting me?  No offense Dougherty, but what the fuck are you thinking?  Vampires in the city, yeah, but werewolves?  Nah man, that shit won’t fly.  The chicks may dig it though.  I’ll check it out when it comes out, but I’m tellin’ ya, it’s gonna be a stinking pile of shit.

That’s right boils ‘n ghouls, the first ever BACKWOODS HORRORSHOW PODCAST is go!  It’s a bit rough, as it’s the first try, but I believe it’ll get better over time.  Click on the link below to listen to it in your browser, or right click and click “save as” to download it.  Check it out and give me any feedback in the comments section, good, bad, or ugly on what I can do to improve the show.

http://podcast.backwoodshorror.com/Backwoods%20Horrorshow%20S01E01.mp3

Keep It Creepy!
Aaron

The new poster for the upcoming horror flick from JT Petty, THE BURROWERS, has been released.  Check it out:

Holy shit, you guys’ve GOT to check this guy out.  This is a series of YouTube bits from JACKVALEFILMS.  Thanks again to GROOVYMONSTER over on Twitter for pointing me in this direction.  This guy, Duane, reminds me a hell of a lot of some of the people from my home town…

MEET DUANE:

Holy crap!  If a dvd documentary comes out about this guy (which seems probable), I’m totally getting it!

Thanks to my pal Groovy Monster over on Twitter for a link to this video…Presenting, THE LIFE AND DEATH OF A PUMPKIN:

THE HORROR…THE HORROR…

The folks over at Horror Bid have some behind the scenes pics from the new Friday Remake that show, SPOILER, KIND OF, an UNMASKED JASON VOORHEES! The pics are kind of blurry though, so it’s kind of hard to make out the disfigurement.  It almost looks like they came close to recreating Savini’s fantastic work on Friday 4…close…but different.  Check ‘em out and visit Horror Bid for more Behind The Scenes pics from the Friday Remake Set!

Sad to say, I’m actually kind of looking forward to this flick.  I’ll be going in with low expectations like I do with all remakes, but I may end up blown away like I did with the DAWN REMAKE, which it was actually pretty damn good.  We’ll see…

Just picked up this bit of news from Fangoria’s site:

Lionsgate Home Entertainment announced that the British werewolfilm WILD COUNTRY, lensed back in 2005, will at last see U.S. DVD release December 16, and gave us a first look at the cover art. Written and directed by Craig Strachan with makeup FX designed by HELLRAISER’s Bob Keen, the film is about a church youth group that goes hiking in the Scottish highlands, during which they find an abandoned baby in a crumbling castle. When they decide to take the infant with them back to civilization, they start getting killed off by a murderous lycanthrope. Special features, if any, have yet to be announced; retail price is $19.98. Look for a set-visit article on WILD COUNTRY in Fango #279, on sale in December. -Michael Gingold

Here’s that cover art:

Could be interesting.  I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed.  I’m currently working on a story/script that, in my opinion, would be the ULTIMATE werewolf flick.

Check it out boils ‘n ghouls!

For those that don’t remember what SPLINTER’s all about check out the official site, or clicky on this link!

Keepin’ that independent horror movie makin’ spirit alive…that’s what I’M talkin’ about!